Samantha and the Fishes
Volume 22 3rd Quarter 2010
1- Herman’s Photo Shoot- Better than Paris Hilton and a yappy handbag dog Queen of Wands with her Panther Higher up the Food Chain Lots of tourists snapping! Look what we saw in Camden today! A Fantasy a Fetish Wild West saloon bar girl In her fishnets Basque stiletto heels and cowboy hat With her slave dressed in black Like a Nazi Stormtrooper on all fours Masked harnessed and chained See how she tames her wild wild man To entice the audience A strong man under duress her heel upon his neck With our hidden pleasures Power play between two people- a vignette Like Pussycat Theatre Run it like a bulldog round the block Tonight, then Because I know it gives you pleasure to feel me straining at the leash Shock the passers-by on the road On the street Because I know it gives me pleasure with my switchblade of keys See the show See where we go Finally an outlet for her jealousy to conquer me On my back she rides the Beast See my anger frustration and pride I can feel you pushing down upon me Sat upon my back Like Erotica now I know how horses feel I pleasure you my Nympho Like Slave One the spaceship That Boba Fett drives Accepting an aspect of Reality Like the dog in that David Bowie photo Punching the air Like Ali Gator who was nicknamed “Drags” because she is so ferocious Like Florence and the Machine Like Kit and the Widow in his camper van and her in her airport lounges James Bond hired assassin The Man from Milk Tray Samantha and her Slave It feels like it too some days The women will like it- the man under her control The men will like it- for all the bondage gear- She must need me- Most people think like that about us anyway Man on a chain Do not try this at home we have been specially trained Maybe you need some protection Are you in trouble again You’d like to call him your slave But his musclepower works wonders every day I was not compromised by all of this play No predators yet on the Horizon One thing though I don’t want to be your fucking dog for the rest of my life- even though it is quite kinky!
2- Miracles- A whole Salmon Will feed six people Or surprise with trout all round With almonds, parsley and coriander Or roast a pig That could be good It will feed a hundred and twenty Pimm’s on ice with fruit salad and mint Like five loaves and two fishes Lamb and rosemary Steak with mustard Gammon with egg and pineapple over at the Prince Edward Or selling 3000 magazines each month A miracle for you What does “commercial” do? Mainstream appeal Like Golden Virginia You can get it everywhere Some things are more obscure Sometimes it’s more fun when I involve more people
3- Enter Magick mostly Cubes- Enter Magick mostly Cubes The intricacies of a Diary Cashflow Insanity Promotion mostly Balls Colours very like my Kali teeshirt- perhaps not a good comparison With her wielding all four arms! Pictures of Balls for how the Camps are arranged Structure and tension in the shapes Nine like Gain for the Family Wain Nine like a space shuttle Roaring off into space Nine like a dromedary Back on it again Two humps for the ride Nine like the base of a square pyramid Nine like Strength, Happiness Cruelty and Gain Ten Balls for a Works dice Oppression Satiety Ruin and Wealth Everywhere three sides Build up another layer Or dig down another layer While we float in the air
4- Long Life- Watching you prepare to die As I go through the agony Of knowing That I will go on for Eternity Into Infinity After You Like a Highlander Alone Or find new friends to spend time with As I refuse to grow old A friend is only a stranger you’ve never met before I own a bit of scrubland To the North We have tried at growing vegetables planted flowers The transmat beam of twelve Paving slabs I strim around of course With the Hotline now for over a year In tandem with the horses at the Grange Ride out into the Sunshine for a great Happy Ending
5- Animal Prints- Back to Back Then facing each other Revolving doors are we Staring past each other’s shoulders Into the wide blue yonder No-one comes for a Poem for Moondog They come for the Show Some of these animal prints do not exist in the wild though We have been able to keep going with your career Because I no longer have to sign on elsewhere Based at home Not forced into a dead-end job Sophie’s future is secure... I haven’t given up on you
6- Tight- No margin for error A chequered path here A transmat beam there I need you And you need me Someone out there Knows our story Don’t deny or justify anything Don’t say “I thought” Don’t make suggestions Or surprises Make a good go of it now that we’re here together What happens after Rock’n’Roll memorabilia On the teeshirt front? Unfortunately this situation is only caused By my own shortcomings...Prawn and Advocado sandwich At Notting Hill Gate Belgian bun 60p Coffee by the Tube if I’m not running late A coffee shop till opening time then on to the pub
7- Studio Shots- Orange balls on blue and green backdrops Even purple or pink Power Worry Gain and Wealth A theme going right through the disks Valour my stomach shot on a hammock Disappointment (on a chopping board), Defeat (in the bath), Success (on a kitchen surface), Completion (on paper), On white like Strife (on paper) or Debauch (on a chopping board), Virtue in three cigarettes (on paper) Or three crispy fivers, Victory shot on a mirror Mind Body Spirit or carrots (on paper), Sorrow (on the washbasin), Love laid out upon the bed A choker round your neck Studio shots are these Titles not chosen out of a hat but from a 78-card deck Pleasure a wheelbarrow full of empty bottles, Cruelty (on paper) a red rose, Change (on paper) a circle of scribbled words, The Hermit (on paper) a cartoon only solved by “c.jontyexplore”, Works (on a kitchen surface) a gaming dice, Prudence (on the sofa) a row of pawns or potato baby new (on a kitchen top), Then Wealth (on a snooker table) at last eleven red balls, The Fool (on a kitchen surface) another assembly, The Universe (on a handkerchief) with earth on my deck- The daffodils tulips and moon daisy I did not pick Scribbled by the Grand Union Canal on a fine sunny day
8- Fate- Because you do not want me to get a job But spend my time with you This is how it goes Because I will not find one easily This is how it goes Delphi where they predict your fate And line you up If you’re in a state Daydream about doing this or that And pray for an answer Roll a condom on a banana Will that prevent a child? Don’t throw a clementine At a computer screen-
Damage 100 quid! You find Happiness boring unfortunately so it’s Satiety for me
9- Jealous Sun- Handing out flyers in Camden A sophisticated commodity But Space Trash New Millennium Apocalypse Under the glare of a Jealous Sun Where you get noticed On the streets of the Apocalypse You swirling my hunting crop We are doing these things anyway- Whatever- I know It cost me an arm and a leg An arm from a horse A leg from a ski I’ve got back on both of course We marched upon Parliament With the Countryside Alliance I am tarred by that brush too!
10- The Camden Fringe- A Man and A Woman together! What a shocker! Something to come to terms with perhaps in your own lives Photoshoot appearing in the Camden Gazette- now together again in another guise Black panther on a lead for her like a Queen of Wands Archant too like Warwickshire Life Cracked it open at last For me at last in the July Abroad like Polo Times or the St Peter’s Website where else I have been, Grove Magazine and Kilburn Times for her- I made it to the Daventry Express! Sister Sarah has been in Kilburn Times too And the Evening Standard with her building empire Four Shires to take the Kilimanjaro story Where Venetia has gone too- Tanzania! Wonder what it will provoke to see Us both in the same place at once Behind the camera in front of the camera Indievictual cater I shoot Social event pieces nowadays A Shooting story A Vet story recently And now Falconry obvoiusly animals for me Will it fit on my website From Mystic Jonty to bondage fiend? At the mike in “Castle in the Bowl”! A nine album reign of terror in South Northamptonshire! Tangents of her From Features to Personalities Otherwise for you and me It’s just South Africa and Ascot where we’ve been Photographed together- third time only- Priceless! Served up by the Etcetera Theatre on Facebook and Youtube I know I could not write about it I cannot plait a tail Three Polo fields at least near Leamington Spa, Ascot, Windsor and Beaufort, ta! She edits Worcestershire Life too Immensely powerful people She oversees two counties What has she done to it? That’s always a novelty Arbitrary almost when my piece Is five months out of date What is her design? Something from our neck of the woods this time What is she telling her readers? Sometimes Jeremy misspells the names just for devilment! I forget to photograph some people sometimes just to add some spice- keep ‘em hanging! This is where it has fallen The sphere of influence Describing an entire world You can venture into
11- ZigZag- ZigZag Wanderer in a Court fantastical Leash of Power for the Empress Like a hangman in that hood The Ghost of Christmas Past Clanking in his chains Anonymous mystery man The man from Milk Tray But you didn’t want the horses Upwardly mobile a class above You want all this Punks with mohicans offering Tattoos and piercings Endless endless shops Smile like Sekhmet the lioness It could be nice But it’s grim One woman had me photographed with her as Iggy Pop! We rode on the bus in our costumes All innocence Sitting there like fools Like Spinal Tap she is having her go...
12- Souvenir Teeshirts- Ride seven days When there is no other excuse Nefarious is normally good At paying me back when I shop Like one squirrel pointing a gun at another For the sake of an acorn Like one Stormtrooper stealing another’s droid Always a threat Or Yoda on the decks Have faith to veer off at Leeds East And follow the A1 on But we are the Government The Government is all of us collectively
13- Summer Quarters- To our Summer Quarters Up in the Highlands iTunes, CD burner, and tape to disk need rebooting though Book now to avoid disappointment Bring your sleeping bag to be first in the queue Can you spot your audience yet amongst these crowds Lunchtime Comedy Drama Don’t open your free wine Or you’ll get thrown out When she leaves her Adulterous husband A phone sex line For entertainment and employment Five thousand flyers Is nothing short of a miracle
14- Be Gentle- Be Gentle like Imajica Like the chauffeur from the Bitch or the Slut Some actress being spoilt lying on the back seats of the car Book now to avoid disappointment An articulate woman speaks out One who knows the ropes Perhaps cut out what you definitely definitely do not want And concentrate on what is left behind Handing out flyers is like Putting trips into people’s heads As you go along the road Building up into a Show Critic from the Times comes by Twenty-three years since I last saw him An old friend from school He has offered free theatre tickets And Sophie saying he will think “Whatever happened to you?!” Chicken and bacon panini toasted hot From the next door cafe shop Edinburgh City Football Club next door to the Planet bar Gay icon Sophie’s now a Fag Hag celebrated amongst the gays... Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!
15- Sell! Sell! Sell!- A woman from the petrol station has the same Velvet Revolver teeshirt as me Where have we been? Laying siege on the City! An adulterous husband- what do you mean by affairs? And a phone sex line- what scenarios are these? Plenty of scope for the imagination Plenty of margin for error The Earth has no symbols Correspondences though Jonty swears by Psychosomatic Yoga for Body and Soul Think yourself fit you know Bend and twist your agenda Diamond Dogs we go In another stairwell Think yourself into Another state of mind And sell the show Your body will follow
16- What are your Stories- You’ve also got families What are your stories That is the Witching Hour very obviously 7.45 for Dr Faustus Go if you’ve got nothing else Satan Mephistopheles Beelzebub Worse maybe than Macbeth Even less auspicious Anastasia and Rasputin covering the Ravine The Russian Orthodox Church Appearing in Edinburgh Drama and Intrigue from Notting Hill in London Appearing at the Festival Into the Games Workshop on the Royal Mile We need an Army to create an Audience! Somewhere at the foothills of the Festival we will find some like types
17- Fishers of Men- Hand in your homework Lloyds Bank are Welsh Like Pembroke at Edgcote But they lost to Lancaster though Santander are from Milton Keynes They’ve also offered help Where the Yorkshire Building Society won’t In a studded dog’s collar There is optimism for the Future The future is relatively bright You’ve got your sales through the Door 20 to 25 people each day every single 13 days Diamond Dogs We are Fishers of Men Selling a Show is just like another Commodity for you then What better way to spend an hour Chaos Lord like it spells out On my number plates
18- Cityscape- Three mobile phones later We’re back in Edinburgh Since the one that Kerri gave me called “myX-2” As though they both shared me As a boyfriend once upon a time remembered fondly Two Nokias and an Alcatel clamshell The Curse of Aleister Crowley Ever present Ending up on smack penniless In a bedsit in Hastings You got bored of the beach in seconds You’d much rather we put on a Show You prefer a Cityscape Third time we’ve been away together now Still very positive You can run around anonymous there forever But at least everyone knows me here
19- A Dressing-Up Box- I wish I could write a poem As lovely as Marmite! South Africa Ascot Edinburgh Edinburgh A fourth time we have been seen together The Punk and the Princess A dressing-up box Came back through the Lake District but she was detestable I skulked off to ride the horses For several weeks... Driving back through the Night caused a little jetlag Even with diplomatic immunity 156 bottles of wine given out In two weeks of the Show
20- In Three New Frames- Finally framed in Pink Frame up both pages of a magazine’s spread just how it came out The Camden Gazette Warwickshire Life Us in two Archant titles And The Four Shires magazine All three came about at once- great excitement! Makes me think about The Colours of the Empress Scale like Fritz Wegner’s “Heaven on Earth” a cartoon astrology book Or other shades of brown... Heading out to the door Two years of September issues Harvest gone again And thoughts return to hunting A spare bedroom of purples and gold Only like this come three sets of keys London Edinburgh Country- Worth remembering
21- Untangling at Home again- Haven’t got my tape onto disc Or iTunes package since my computer glitched Burn hard copies onto disc while I have no email or the words cannot be transported- need to retype Or Easy CD creator for music or images Discs now where the photos go flow straight onto your magazines Send it all in one neat package Haven’t got internet access Cannot move on my Site No landline again But Electricity mercifully Up to date on my Mortgage And somehow persuaded My iPod to wake me With the dulcet tones of Sky Burial Each and every morning And now the Harlequins Have disgraced themselves With a capsule of fake blood No longer wear that teeshirt We did have some good luck in Edinburgh And some warm and sunny weather My audience is on the wall in frames
22- Conjuring- Because I want it I muck out And clean at every end You sorted out my dole We’ve got this far I can’t let you down Despite of what I know Twice as many reasons To focus on Warwickshire Now TWO Editors to conjure with That is what it means Can’t quite give Victoria up For the secretary Not yet somehow...Might live to regret it She’s still doing her Play And I’m running errands for her When she’s in her meetings and the gym Three frames in Pink set the scene For this Autumn’s hunting Like her right-hand man Like her groom to the bridal Up the aisle in Church
23- Successful- It never went so low for her As to play for only a few people Like a saleswoman she got them in Tell me how to do it! Try and be popular again News spreads like wildfire Chinese whispers Buy an emotion Some energy An idea
24- Release- Only a couple of signatures Before it goes through I’ve got the death certificate I’ve got the Will A lost account of Roger Wain deceased Don’t delay us any more please It has been sent back so many times this document Laid to rest Nail-biter waiting for the form to be processed My mortgage late it’s true Subplots to the Show Like dust to dust and ashes to ashes On top of a coffin Or laid to grow and planted so A clump of earth on my Tarot Loads of concrete results With us both I’ve been good to myself too sometimes leaving things behind- spare diesel, teabags, credits for tube and phone... Cally fallen Alison too Grip the deck between these two This is where the Power goes through Jessica where I met you Four small frames for my office room Born or buried the Priestess do In there somewhere lies the Truth Subplot of an important document Running through
25- Five Colours Green- Like the Wizard “9” again Antis and Sabs the Jesus Army Good People and fine Hunting Men Poachers and Landowners among them Get a rabbit for the pot Foot soldiers some The spirits of stones and trees Special places you hold dear Hunting Shooting Fishing and Falconry a fourth forgotten blood sport All the greens Dark Angels Scene All the guitars are always arguing- She dates back to Thin Lizzy- What colour shall I call this Scale? “Five Colours Green” like “Four Colours Black”, “Glorious Technicolor”! Variations on a theme I can give them some exposure Just like “Goldfish” which paths people choose Some of my success stories I can film them and shoot them And follow it through More power to my elbow More power in goodwill 4 Balls 5 Balls 9 Balls 10 Balls 13, 14, and counting...20... on blue on green on magenta on purple on paving slabs outside Kingdom Scale for Power like juicy oranges 5 by 4 Like getting stronger again You are my Door Sophie What people hear when they talk to me Can’t find the stories yet so for now Find the frames For something to work around again Six colours in an Empress Scale Like the Grandborough Ride on the grass Diplodocus Crossing Just room in Bedroom 2 to bang in some nails Sounds like the colour yellow to me Make fun out of tight budgeting Notice cheap deals here and there All along the Watchtower between Junctions 9 and 10 Four people to feed my cat in the end
I must have asked everybody everything Eventually It built up a landscape for me Strong bright Sunshine that day Good shadows and contrast It would be Power being Kingdom Kingdom comes first then see Kingdom Scale Sub Station Power Station very rare to have a vegetarian day If you could not bring yourself to kill an animal then you should not be eating meat or even wearing leather- But we handle it- It’s Husbandry I’ve done a Butcher’s story We both always always wear a belt and so you should Protection if needs be Chaos Black Blazing Orange Graveyard Earth Brown and Dark Angels Green Who are they who have problems with the Mainstream With people who live and deal with animals With the Secrets of the Amber Ray? Dark Angels Green not yet used- An unsavoury colour A bit left on your own...
Ogre Kingdoms when Bob was alive Dark Angels Green for the Power 5 by 4 Kingdom Scale for the oranges in the back outside Had to take it outside to find enough space! Almost like a Qabalah tree a symbol a structure for our lives Turquoise and Orange original Power colours An Englishman’s home is his Castle Power- bricks and mortar- Red frame to be pushy to get it out there Power- grass roots support Because it needs it so Red rhymes with Blood Shed Already got the Emperor Scale in frames about the house Pink frames for the Love For a united experience Pink frames where the Red has gone Gold sits like Wealth in Bedroom 1 amongst the Purple and bombs Jostling for position We both tried with Ice Blue out of bed with sheer determination What each of us to the Party bring Probably best to bang them up Five Colours Green Down along the Hall- very Feng Shui! Eventually Thirty people an album Would listen to my thing Obviously my Articles have fared much better
26- It is in the Water- If I have to make the choice I will not live in London full time Can’t sacrifice my country side What about all these horses to ride And my fantastic social life? Good to flush the system Drink plenty of liquids Get all the poisons out Very superstitious about Which teeshirt I choose Every day before I go All the black ones just get boring After a while Silver and Green- Priestessy!
27- The Lights are On- Cally and I once stayed in the Palace of the Maharajah of Jodhpur! In some of these houses Round the All Saints Road The lights are never on Does anybody even live there? If you asked me nicely In a good way I would probably do it without objection Our story and some of yours We have laid down for Posterity How it became a Rock Band And all the horses How Sophie took to the Stage
28- Bargain Hunting- The powers that be at Coca-Cola I can’t think who’d want Pepsi out of choice The powers that be at the chocolate factory Play their games with us Bacon too in its shapes and sizes Watch prices yes you must Fruit juices they are very affluent From store to store their prices change Coffee shops are too expensive Then suddenly the same Twice as many teabags for only 40p more Two for £4 pies do well Three pastas for a fiver Saute some potatoes maybe Spaghetti hoops for only 15p Surprised they even bother! Don’t break into the next note for as long as humanly possible Bread pastry pasta biscuits All of this comes from Wheat Jar of Peanut Butter what a novelty! Pickle and Cheese! Tesco’s £2 meal deal does everything dirt cheap Cannot ignore filling up the car as that is what the money’s for
29- Lucky!- Arrived in Banbury completely empty The Post Office could not help me Thinking out who could rescue be Gave a thought to Jeremy Who was in the office and gave me 20 quid! Lucky! The rest went in the wrong bank but they let me have it- Amazing! Things like this can be totally arbitrary They make me pull on people And thank God they are there Like “Anyone for Denis” playing golf with her Stepfather in I amuse myself riding While she keeps hammering it in One way to deal with her High Pressure experience of reality
30- The Hand that feeds you- Some people are signing on And yet attacking The Government that supports them Just like the Antis and Saboteurs We’ve got money We care for our animals We’re the casting vote round here They’ve got money They threaten with violence We’re not all on the telly Chances are neither are they Keep plugging away at it It’s fun having to think on your feet And having to answer questions You weren’t ready for Not parasitic but grafting Onto somewhere They’ve all got Batcaves or Tracey Islands nowadays No need to be in London
31- Black Magenta Yellow Cyan- Four Colours Black we see Mrs Jones got her cat stuck up A tree There must be more to it Than that surely for journos out in publishing Spiker and Sponge And James and the Giant Peach But they weren’t supposed To go out Hunting... Two High Court Judges and the Editor of the Independent Who took me up to the 22nd floor Of that building in Canary Wharf His wife the Editor of Good Housekeeping A real Media couple I’m surprised they ever got any sleep
32- Not Drama but Farce- And now I discover You are only really allowed One Doctor One who can issue a prescription Even if I am away from London My life’s not drama It’s farce They still need 48hrs notice So many things go wrong Don’t ask Back at home in the Country Moley resting on my belly And this morning I ran up to The Co-op in Byfield just in case And my Warwickshire Life money Had gone through
33- The Grange- Not short of fast work Gallopping round the Park Just like Dick Whittington and his cat The streets are paved with gold Always a warm welcome At the nice bright red door of the Grange And toast with lime marmelade
34- Dynastic Scale- Yellow and Orange and Purple, Liche not Warlock though, and light Blue For that warm inner glow Swap Black for Orange from Four Colours Black and a different Magenta Whiskas boxes and exotic juice Oat cookies from the Co-op shop With sultanas apricot and Coconut My cat loves them too But where she got to In her House Is that where it stops? Ransacking pub after pub! Liche Purple for the Dynastic Tale- Henry VI parts I, II, and III The Red Knight is a Woman! I suppose A lot of my stuff Has been a result Of our Adventures Changeover won’t be long now Liche Purple to Red to Pink together After that where will it go She hasn’t given me any free wine yet But not many of my friends have seen the Show
35- All the King’s horses- High Tea at the Grange “Estancia” With the Curator of several tombs- All the King’s horses and All the King’s men! Would you pay attention to What’s going on around you And be like everyone else Or try to tell your own story “Your Daddy he’s an outlaw and a Wanderer by trade” There we were “Do it for my Queen” In the middle of a whole gang of mates Some of our stories weren’t relevant But this is a united front As I sang gardens sprang Out at the back and the front Crowds of festvalgoers in one voice together These projects have given us a Mission
36- The Lure of the Fields- “All you talk about is Sophie” So would you if you had one So be it that the horses Are in direct competition With our life in London But I will never sell up And move back there Our friendship has always been one of distances Bigger by far in two places Pursuing distinct careers There is not always enough for me To do in London It can wait Especially with the lure Of the Fields
37- Antagonism- I get my greased naked woman Just like “Smell the Glove” Smothered in fake tan lotion- conversely she is difficult to get hold of- Slippery! I too try to be a Bendy Toy Lots of opposite emotions Too easy to let me pay my parking fines With my charge card They had to cut my limit And get me scrabbling around For Postal Orders And yet more money had to come by And now the High Speed Rail Link Is going to cut right across our land Do I put my neck on the line... A toe in the water of Politicking A threat of a nasty surprise
38- Three Destinations- Now you’re saved onto disc My sweet And “To the Gauntlet!” too Paper copies won’t get lost I can transport you And publish on the Web again and in the Magazines Discs for three destinations Subject matter hope to please Where it is likely to go at the moment Words and Pictures drag and drop Video too House Styles where are these Three separate entities- the Reign of the Gods again Nero “Burning Rom” will do- Ha! Ha! Very funny! Open the Bidding! Southam Horse Posse was now three years ago Along “The Grandborough Ride”, “Life at the Grange Estancia” has plenty more besides Plenty of Balls near a Power source That blows it open wide
